# 4 - 06/07/2009 at 03:22 | 1 Comments | Share
You know that nerdy kid WIlliam Gates who sits next to you in high school? Give him the best blow job of his life and don't stop until he puts a ring on your finger.

# 417 - 09/03/2009 at 01:42 | 4 Comments | Share
tell him you love him while he's still around, and stay the hell away from tyler! he is a douchebag, that will ruin your relationship with your first love.

# 233 - 07/27/2009 at 02:08 | 2 Comments | Share
Before going to a social event when you're trying to flirt with other guys- make sure you're boyfriend doesn't give you a dozen hickies on your neck.

# 222 - 07/25/2009 at 11:09 | 2 Comments | Share
Make sure she swallows because your leather interior is done for if she doesn't.

# 175 - 07/20/2009 at 09:27 | 4 Comments | Share
If your a lesbian, try not to fall in love with your straight best friend.

# 213 - 07/24/2009 at 03:55 | 5 Comments | Share
Whatever you do, don't think about that damn Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. He's not as harmless as you think.

# 307 - 08/14/2009 at 08:54 | 5 Comments | Share
Don't believe for one second that he loves you or even exists. He is more than likely a figment of her imagination and a ploy to keep you close. Don't believe her and her lies!

# 355 - 08/25/2009 at 03:39 | 3 Comments | Share
When you see him the next year at camp, say something...get his number...SOMETHING! He's the guy of your dreams and if you hesitate, who knows when you will see him again.

# 508 - 10/10/2009 at 02:59 | 3 Comments | Share
Hang in there. someday a goth freak, a fairy, a girl who was a fairy in her past life, a redneck, and a girl who accepts your offer of 5 dollars for a lap dance & who you may just love, will find you and slowly piece you back together again.

# 25 - 06/19/2009 at 07:36 | 0 Comments | Share
Your wife will cheat on you. You're probably thinking about getting a divorce aren't you? Well she wins the lotto, and you didn't sign a pre-nup. Now go get em tiger!

# 75 - 07/13/2009 at 11:00 | 1 Comments | Share
UGGGH!! Don't park your new car on the corner of Santa Monica and Harper. You just got it today, and your theft insurance isn't active until tomorrow.

# 235 - 07/27/2009 at 02:37 | 3 Comments | Share
don't chug the smirnoff. you'll impress no one, except yourself, when you wake up the next day.

# 504 - 10/09/2009 at 11:23 | 1 Comments | Share
go home, don't order that one makers on the rocks, the next day you will have the worst hangover and look at your reciept and realize you ordered 2 more and something else you don't recognize that was $16. let them poke fun at you for drinking red wine. you act like a jackass that night, yell at your freinds and call your girlfriend and act like a jerk while blacked out... biggest mistake ever.

# 354 - 08/25/2009 at 10:53 | 4 Comments | Share
Despite some big mistakes that you have made in life, overall you've done pretty good for yourself!

# 261 - 07/31/2009 at 11:22 | 3 Comments | Share
Don't arrest the African-American Harvard Professor. You'll unfairly be viewed as a racist, even though you did your job of protecting and serving. Worse yet, you'll have to have a beer with Obama and Biden, and of course, the professor. AWKWARD!